Toomuchpollo

It is quite often in life that we believe we are ordering one piece of pollo (chicken) and end up with a dozen. Things are not always as they seem. This is especially true in travel. As I sat inside Mr. Tommy's Pollo restaurant in Medellin I could feel the Colombians watching me. Is he really going to eat twelve pieces of chicken in one sitting?


Medellin and Cali are said to be the cities with the most beautiful Colombians. Now, I haven`t been to Cali yet but I can say without hesitation that Medellin is a boob and ass city. You will find women of all ages with boob and ass implants (sorry, no pictures). Apparently it is common for a father to give his daughter breast implants for her sixteenth birthday. It is also common for a woman in her sixties to get an ass implant. This leads to a city full of people with oversized breasts and ass.




This is finely balanced by Botero´s art which is scattered throughout the city. His interpretation of Colombians and famous historical figures is the opposite of the established definition of beauty. He tells it how it is. He makes his female sculptures plump and small breasted and gives the male sculptures tiny packages.

Eventually it was time to leave Medellin and head to the Caribbean city of Cartagena which is known for its history of piratry and rum. A British traveler and I decided it would be best to check out the nightlife in the city. We began at a local salsa bar named Donde Fidel where we ended up being the only gringos there. The owner, who I assume was Fidel, had a massive gut and was huffing and heaving around the bar. People would jump out of the way when he walked about. We came to the conclusion that Fidel must be similar to a Don in the mafia. He seemed to garner a lot of respect and when he would wag his finger in tune with his labored breathing, people would bend over backwards for him.



After we took advantage of the cheap beer prices we decided to find a club. We began to ask the locals where the good spots were. We got several suggestions and one old woman led us to a bar called Queens. We were excited and ready to have a good time when we stepped into the bar. The Brit stepped in first and burst out laughing. I stepped in after him and scanned the room. We were the only men in the bar and there were about 20 young Colombian women sitting around. I was immediately reminded of the time I was unknowingly led into a whorehouse in Morocco. This happened several more times throughout the evening as locals kept leading us to these houses. We finally gave up our search for a normal club when we were led to a pirate ship docked in the bay full of hookers in pirate costumes. As my side was hurting from laughing and was beginning to get chafe we decided to head back to the hostel area.




The next day was mud volcano day. I climbed the mound and got in the mud. It is probably one of the strangest feelings i have had before. The Colombians begin massaging you and covering your body in mud. Afterwards, you head down to the lake to rinse off. At the lake, there are more people who massage you and help rinse the mud off. All of a sudden, one of the Colombian women took my shorts off so I was sitting in the lake naked (no I don´t have pictures of that either). From there, they proceed to clean and massage you...As I looked around I could see that other people had not known that this was part of the mud volcano experience either.







Things are not always as they seem but getting extra pollo or having something happen that was not planned can make for good travel.




This is why I say bring on mucho pollo!